Turning a Vicious Cycle into a Virtuous Circle

If you can recognize the sexual addiction cycle, you can make a battle plan to combat it. Counseling with the Lord, your bishop, and your parents will help you to discover ways that will help you personally. Then you can turn your behavior patterns from a vicious cycle to a virtuous circle, which will reinforce themselves as you repeat them again and again. (For more information on pornography addiction, see CombatingPornography.org.)

The Addiction Cycle

1.

Thoughts. A person's mind becomes completely preoccupied with the object of the addiction, leading to an obsessive search for stimulation. Catching yourself at this stage and stopping yourself can help you avoid being trapped.

2.

Rituals. A person goes through routines that intensify the preoccupation, adding more arousal and excitement. Again, recognizing these routines and altering them can help you to avoid the addictive behavior.

3.

Behavior. A person acts out, feeling that he or she cannot control or stop this behavior (whether it's taking drugs or engaging in sexual behavior). But you have agency; you can stop the behavior, even if you've allowed yourself to get to the stage where it's much more difficult to withstand the temptation.

4.

Despair. A person feels utterly hopeless about his or her behavior and feels powerless to control it. Often, because of the damage done to self-worth and as a way to cope with these depressing feelings, a person's thoughts turn again to the object of the addiction, and the cycle begins again. But even if you've gone this far, you don't have to let the cycle repeat itself. With the Lord's help, you can overcome it.

The Virtuous Circle

1.

Thoughts. Change your environment. Surround yourself with pictures, music, and literature that will inspire good and uplifting thoughts. Avoid media, people, or settings that have tempted you in the past. Disconnect the Internet or television cable. Learn constructive ways to respond to conflict, boredom, or other negative feelings. Think about ways to serve others.

2.

Rituals. Engage in positive activities, such as studying the scriptures, exercising, or talking with a family member or friend.

3.

Behavior. Fast and pray for help, and do good works. Addiction, which is selfish by nature, can be replaced by selfless service to others.

4.

Joy. President Thomas S. Monson has said, "Don't put your eternal life at risk. Keep the commandments of God. If you have sinned, the sooner you begin to make your way back, the sooner you will find the sweet peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness. Happiness comes from living the way the Lord wants you to live and from service to God and others" ("Preparation Brings Blessings," Ensign, May 2010, 66–67).